“Don’t find fault, find a remedy”
– Henry Ford
I was extremely guilty of this for many many years! In my personal life and professional life. This is a trait that many people have and this is one of the biggest that hold so many of us back. Everyone is to blame but ourselves. We point the finger at our partners when they act miserable, we blame our bosses when we were overlooked for that promotion, we blame all the hundreds of cars on the road when were stuck in traffic.
My life changed when i started reading books, mostly about leadership and ownership (i recommend looking into ‘Principles’ by Ray Dalio and ‘Extreme Ownership’ by Jocko Willink & Leif Babin). I now hold myself accountable for pretty much most things that occur in my life, even things that sometimes are not directly related to me or out of my hands. This has allowed me to be critical of myself and find ways to improve all aspects of my life. I do not want to be perfect but i want to be the best i can be and live my best life as often as i can.
When we point the finger at others, we will never grow. If we cannot accept criticism from others we will never grow. For me it is difficult because i ask those closest to me to critique me but people never tell you the truth unless they are angry lol! I liken it to a car, you drive it every day and it doesn’t seem right and you know it and it gets worse over time. If you don’t fix the fault and find a remedy, eventually the car will stop working and break down and this is evident in so many people who have a midlife crisis, suffer from depression, are often negative and see no positive in the world. The kind of people who drain you quicker than a faulty iPhone 6 battery.
The best way we can move forward in life is to find a remedy. When i was overlooked for jobs, i would ask for feedback and when i dug deep enough personally, i could hand on heart say i could have done more, such as prepare for interviews by looking in the mirror and practicing my speech, or sat with a friend and done mock interviews. I could have increased my subject knowledge prior. There was always something i could do more and as i had more and more interviews, i was getting closed and closer, i could feel it and eventually i landed my dream job! A fantastic job at that!
Taking action and ownership is all i ever do now, roll up my sleeves and dig in no matter how hard it is. If you work hard enough, you will prevail, i assure you this will be the case 99% of the time if you do not give up! There is no fluke that i have been in a relationship with my Fiancé for over 10 years now. I will be the first to admit the first 6-7 years were a roller coaster ride but we both dug in and we weathered the storm and sadly she is stuck with me for life lol. I found remedy as often as i can. Whilst books will not solve relationship problems, they certainly help you understand thought processes of women and relationship dynamics which have certainly remedied a lot of my issues.
Take away from this is take action, roll those excuses up like a piece of paper and throw them in the bin. Make yourself accountable for your life and those close to you. If my Fiancé is having a bad day, i say to myself i am not doing enough to make her happier regardless if i caused it. Take ownership. Don’t wait for that promotion, go out and get that promotion. God gave us hands for a reason because as i like to put it, your life is in your hands!
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